Bones, Lines, Beauty

8.27.17 Yellow Overtone Warrior GAP

Did the drawing for this spread yesterday. Went through the printouts of elder women and bones, skeletons, and digging around into Saturn themes: ginko, horsetail, passionflower, lady’ slipper, ants and raindrops, deer skulls and snake skeletons, portals in stone, great walls and spiral staircases, spiderwebs, labyrinths, and leaves . . . . Saturn feels to me like every thing forward that’s cultivated and developed toward and into, slowly, patiently, organized, step by step, plants that grow deeply longly withstandingly resilient, the connectivity of everything, self-disciplined practice . . . . collaged two pieces that drew me in, embroidery threads and an intricate pattern . . . pencil drew in snake skeleton, elder woman, antlers, ant, ginko, part of a braid, webbing.

Extended out the threads and repeated some of the intricate pattern in pencil today then black inked the lines . . . .

Felt motivated to add some color . . . the elder is roughly under the horizon, 6th House Cancer where my natal Saturn is, the orange threads are roughly 11th House Sagittarius where Saturn is moving toward from where it’s in Scorpio right now. The ant is over opposite the 6th House, Capricorn at 12th. Where’s all this headed? I reached for color pencil instead of the usual paint and watercolor pastel/pencil and moved in with orange hues and blues, firewater . . .

8.31.17 Yellow Solar Sun

Completed this today. Saturn in 6th House Cancer::feels like heavy emotional capacity, to feel inside, and also emoting outside, others, feeling their feelings . .. hence sometimes unsure of what’s really going on, people say one thing, but body language, expressions, the mood and feeling is saying another thing. Call this the capacity to listen . . . hold space, others often tell me their stories, sometimes in more detail than I want to listen to, but off they go and then they feel so much better, so peaceful, and I’m going whoa, that is a lot . . . learnng how to let it go afterward rather than retaining. Saturn retains. Cancer also retains. A lot of retention. Water retention tends to make one bloated, so moving it out with excercise and sweat recently feels really good! Oddly, I enjoy holding space and listening, comes naturally and effortlessly, almost attracts people who need that . . . so I don’t mind doing it, it gets more challenging the longer people need to beat around teh bush to get to where they’re going and then when they have questions from me, that asks for more; still I’ve been practicing this since I was what, five six? Am now learning the art of setting space for myself so as not to overwhelm and overload . . . where does it lead? I enjoy serving others too, feels like that’s 6th House plus Cancer, Saturn has me carrying to full extended capacity pushing me to carry even more, and Virgo in 8th with Moon Mercury and Pluto . . . Moon as Cancer’s ruler, Virgo as 6th House placeholder, I feel add energy to this Saturnian placement::that 8th House intuition, secret digging out kicks in and amplifies Cancer’s emotive empathy with all the more layers and possibilities of what the ‘story’ I’m listening to means . . . the painting feels didgerdoo mandala weavingish, maybe I’ll grow antlers one day, or maybe I grow antlers and shed them renewing constantly, holding up mosaic pieces and rolling them like the ants roll balls . . . .ginko, ginko felt bright and hopeful and sunnshiny and mentally stimulating, did you know it’ll grow through disaster of atomic proportions and retain vitality and health despite the horrors that wipe everything out around it? I feel that way sometimes . . . . left space undrawn, space for interesting things to develop and grow from the structures I’ve been building perhaps or even entirely new and unexpected yet exciting, the way my pregnancies came along and developed, unplanned yet wholly fullfilling and right on the spot of what was needed for growth in more ways than one!

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